|Dr. Jamo Haruna
||[Apr. 10th, 2006|04:53 pm]
From: Dr.Jamo Haruna <firstname.lastname@example.org> |
Sent: March 31, 2006 8:14:57 AM
Subject: Kindest Attention:
J'ai une nouvelle adresse mail
Vous pouvez maintenant m'écrire à : email@example.com
My name is Mrs. Esther Williams, I am from Portugal . I have been diagnosed
with Esophageal cancer. It has defiled all forms of medical treatment, and
right now I have only about a few months to live, according to medical
experts. I have not particularly lived my life so well, as I never really
cared for anyone (not even myself)but my business. Though I am very rich,
I was never generous, I was always hostile to people and only focused on
my business as that was the only thing I cared for.But now I regret all
this as I now know that there is more to life than just wanting to have
or make all the money in the world. I believe when God gives me a second
chance to come to this world I would live my life a different way from
how I have lived it.
Now that God has called me, I have willed and given most of my property
and assets to my immediate and extended family members as well as few
close friends .I want God to be merciful to me and accept my soul so, I
have decided to give alms to charity organizations, as I want this to be
one of the last good deeds I do on earth. So far, I have Distributed money
to some charity organizations in the U.A.E, Somalia and Malaysia.
Now that my health has deteriorated so badly, I cannot do this myself
anymore. I once asked members of my family to close one of my accounts and
distribute the money which I have there to charity organization in
Bulgaria and Pakistan, they refused and kept the money to themselves.
Hence, I do not trust them anymore, as they seem not to be contended with
what I have left for them. The last of my money which no one knows of is
the huge cash deposit of Thirty Million United States
Dollars($30,000,000,00) that I have with a Finance Vaulting Unit Abroad. I
will want you to help me collect this deposit and dispatch it to charity
Kindly note that 35% of this funds must go to the tsunami victims,60%
to other Charity Organization and 5% for your effort and time.
I cannot talk with you on the phone due to my health situation, as I am
using my Lap Top Computer to communicate with you. You should respond
to my lawyer Barrister Peter Mong Esq. through his email:
firstname.lastname@example.org, if you are interested in carrying
out this assignment on my behalf.
God be with you.
Mrs. Esther Williams c/o Barrister Peter Mong Esq.
I don't know where to begin pointing out all the grammatical errors and general inconsistencies with this e-mail, sent to my StimulEye Fonts address. Why do all the hilarious spams get sent there?
- Her cancer violated the medical treatments?
- Her uncaring, ungenerous nature is my problem?
- If god has already called her, shouldn't she be dead? Did I receive this e-mail from beyond?
- She gave money to the United Arab Emirates? Well, so did I, in a way! I bought five tubes of UAE-made lipsticks for $1.99 at London Drugs!
- Her greedy relatives kept her money instead of donating it to charity? She had it coming! She was hostile to everyone! Payback's a bitch!
- She's got a "Finance Vaulting Unit Abroad?" Lots of people have financial accounts abroad, but none of them are capable of vaulting. Or doing somersaults or handstands. Isn't she lucky?
- Five percent of her $30 million USD must go to me? Why? What if I don't want that much?
- She can't talk on the phone due to her deteriorating health, but she can send such a long message from a doctor's e-mail address? Maybe she should give her doctor the five percent for letting her "defile" his account.
- Her laptop is a proper noun? Did she name it "Lap Top Computer?"
- Her lawyer, an esquire no less, conducts official business using a Yahoo account?
- She thinks I might be interested in "carrying out this assignment?" What is this, Mission: Impossible?